Horror Block March 2016 unboxed

As a reward for paying off my credit card this month, I thought I would treat myself to a subscription box. It was a choice between Owl Crate (who caters to a YA crowd) and returning back to Horror Block. Considering how much cheaper Horror Block was and the fact that I really don’t need anymore books, I happily let my subscription renew.

And what a mistake it was! Whoo hoo!

This month’s Horror Block is a literal piece of shit. So much for treating myself, as this box was about as fun as receiving a gift bag of party favours from the Dollar Tree (though I somehow think that even that would be an improvement).

I just want to get one thing off my chest: I am so, so tired of The Walking Dead. I don’t watch it. I never really got into it. But Jesus Christ Almighty, please let the world understand that just because there are horror fans, doesn’t mean every horror fan wants a shit ton of Walking Dead gear all the bloody time. Anyway, I’m so annoyed at myself for paying for this. Anyway. Here is this months Horror Block:

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1. Zombie oven mitt

This was definitely the best part of the box. The oven mitt is cute and funny. My husband and I already own several oven mitts (including a baseball glove one that is both excellent and crap), but we’re poor so home stuff is always welcome.

2. “Bonus” Zombie hunter dog tags

Regifting an item from a different subscription block (in this case, the October Classic Block) is tacky and stupid. I hated it the first time and I hate it even more now.

3. The Ring t-shirt from ShirtPunch.com

I hate The Ring. I hate Ringu. I hate this shirt.

4. The Walking Dead building blind bag

This fucking show.

5. Rue Morge April 2016

Once again, a beacon of light in a rather abysmal box. The shop where I would buy my horror magazines in Central London has closed down. Being able to get this issue brought a single tear to my eye. Plus this issue includes an excellent article about The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, definitely one of the strangest choices for a Cannon Film production.

6. Zombie door stop

This is cute, but not at all practical for our flat. We have the rare problem of not being able to get any of our doors shut. So alas, my husband is stealing it to keep the door open in the server room at his work. But at least something will be useful.

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7. Zombie squeeze

Literally the most useless piece of junk ever.

8. Zombie hand back scratcher

One of the weirdest side-effects I have from my anxiety is really annoying shoulder and back pain. I force my husband to give me back scratches all the time, and while he doesn’t moan about it, no one enjoys giving a back scratch. So I guess this back scratcher and I are now friends. only it’s a bit crap as I couldn’t really feel it. But this also could have been because I was testing it through my Brewers jersey.


 

This month’s block was literally the pits. I’ll definitely not be returning ever again. But on an more important note: opening day for the Brewers was yesterday, so there’s officially better things to deal with in my life. Like watching the Brewers tank this season… on purpose. I’ll save my money for a new jersey this year. I think you need to move on when you’ve had the same one for ten years… and it’s a child’s medium.

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