Riverdale Ep. 26 recap “Chapter Twenty-Six: The Tell-Tale Heart”

There is nothing better than a villain you love to hate. And Chic, I’m on to you. You skeezy creep.

This week’s episode of Riverdale gave us all plenty of reasons to hate on the evil-doers of Riverdale.

Last week, we were left watching Alice Cooper cleaning up the blood surrounding the corpse on her living room rug. She explains to Betty that Chic killed the man. Betty wants to call the police, thinking it was self-defence, but Alice ignores her.

While Chic sits alone ‘crying’ like an idiot, the Cooper women work together to clean up his mess. They bleach the house and then take the corpse to Alice’s “secret place” – a lonely sewer pipe.

Unsurprisingly, Betty doesn’t handle this well. She barely sleeps, doesn’t tell Jughead she loves him, and when Kevin tells the group about the death of Papa Poutine, she goes into the bathroom and is sick with nerves.

Not able to forget about the corpse, Betty returns to the body and takes the phone that was left on the man. She goes through his messages and calls and realises that the man was there to deliver drugs to Chic. Suddenly Chic’s great defender isn’t so happy with him anymore. But despite learning this, Alice seems completely fine pretending like nothing has happened (because she’s being MASSIVELY manipulated by that little creep ‘son’ of hers).

Meanwhile, Archie continues to tango with the FBI agent. He becomes less more resistant to work with them, and isn’t willing to betray the Lodges. But one night when he gets home, he sees the agent speaking to Fred. Archie’s dad later tells him that he’s being investigated for hiring illegal workers from Canada.

Archie still sticks to his guns and refuses to break, he instead goes to Hiram and admits everything about the agent. Hiram agrees to help Archie and his dad get out of their mess.

But Hiram’s week isn’t so easy. When Veronica learns about the death of Papa Poutine, she suspects that her father is involved. Archie encourages her to be open with her dad, and when she asks Hiram, he says he’s clear of any involvement.

This, rightly, doesn’t satisfy Veronica. But she and her dad have other things to sort out, like their mess on the South Side. The two Lodges meet with FP and Jughead to talk about the closing of the trailer park. They come to an agreement that Hiram will pay everyone’s back rent in return that Jughead doesn’t mention Hiram in his expose about the South Side.

After learning about the deal, Mayor McCoy becomes nervous. She’s been threatened to be exposed by Jughead, and is desperate to get the Lodges to stop their work until she’s re-elected, in case Jughead’s article comes out and she loses the election. But the Lodges, unwilling to wait with their masterplan for the South Side, decide to blackmail the mayor about her affair to make her compliant.

Upon hearing this, Veronica goes to Mayor McCoy and tells them about her parents’ plan for her. The mayor takes the opportunity to step down before anything is exposed. When Hiram asks if Veronica was involved, she gives him a smile and tells him no.

But there’s still that body.

Unable to handle the anxiety alone, Betty tells Jughead about the murder. While discussing actions, the parking enforcement woman stops by and inquires about the car that has been sitting outside the Cooper’s house for a few days. Together, Betty and Jughead realise that the car belongs to the drug dealer.

They hotwire the car, and together dispose of it a la Psycho by pushing it into a bog.

Betty’s troubles only get worse when Cheryl approaches her with news. Penelope Blossom (being a lady of the night now) has been spending a lot of time with Hal Cooper, who has been kicked out of the house. When Cheryl told her mom to stop, Penelope tells Cheryl that Hal is not a client but the real deal.

Probably because he’s the only male Blossom left in town, I guess. But when Betty learns of the affair, she uses it as leverage against he father to make him leave, and to stop him from being suspicious about what the family was hiding from him.

Alice and Betty later learn that Jughead told FP about the body. While Alice is dismayed, FP helps them by disposing of the body for them. “Taking care of their own” or whatever. It’s sweet. And this is all definitely opening doors for FP and Alice to get together which I am all for.

One night, Archie is picked up by the Lodge’s driver, Andre and is told that “the boss” wants to talk to him. Instead of driving to the Pembrooke, Archie is driven to a cliff high above Sweet Water River. But when he goes to meet the boss, it’s not Hiram who is waiting there for him, but Hermione.

She tells him that the agent was hired by her to ascertain if Archie would be loyal to them and Veronica. He passed her little test when he went to Hiram to tell him about the agent and the bug. But while Archie should look relieved, he looks like someone just crushed his dog Vegas with a steamroller.

While that’s a lame reveal, it’s strangely comforting to know that this ridiculous plotline with the FBI was as constructed as it seemed. Maybe for all of my complaining about this show, I just needed to be patient.

But I am really excited to see Chic get his ass kicked or whatever. He’s my new favourite character to despise. Bring on more of that, and let the payoff be sweet.

There won’t be a new Riverdale episode now until March. Looking forward to some well-deserved drama next month!

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