Riverdale ep. 3.12 “Chapter Forty-Seven: Bizarrodale”

“Chapter Forty-Seven: Bizarrodale” is one of the more aptly-named episodes yet. It was a complete change of tone from the earlier episodes in the season, and for that – it was both bizarre and incredibly needed.

Josie and Kevin’s parents finally decide to get hitched but under one condition: it has to be a small affair. And considering Josie and Kevin are the most dramatic students in Riverdale outside of the Blossom family, they’re both left disappointed. But they do mange to convince their parents to have an after party.

So both Josie and Kevin reach out to find dates to the wedding, and both come up short. While Josie finds solace in Archie (who helpfully drives her to her ill-fated Juilliard audition), Kevin is left in the cold by Moose – who insists on staying in the closet.

When Cheryl comforts a frustrated Kevin, she devises a little plan to semi-out Moose over the school announcements. She calls it a “little push” but girlfriend Toni immediately calls her out on her bullshit and privilege. And Cheryl must really love Toni, because she’s the one person she’ll listen to.

Cheryl goes about fixing the mess she made. Though her silly move actually worked in getting Moose to come out to his dad. A move which he feels jubliant about. But like everything in Riverdale: it’s just not that easy.

Meanwhile, Sierra and Tom receive a bit of a ‘congratulatory’ note from the Gargoyle King – informing them that the Midnight Club must reassemble with the Midnight Club and go to Riverdale High to complete their ascension.

The Midnight Club all assemble and begin to look for the chalices, and quickly realise they’ve been had. And a trap can only mean one thing: their children are the targets. Tom Keller quickly realises that only Kevin doesn’t respond. That’s because his son is too busy snuggling up with Moose in the now not-so-secret bunker.

As the boys enjoy the first night alone together, the Gargoyle Gang arrive and take the boys away. They’re dragged to the feet of the Gargoyle King to flip for their fate. But before Kevin can drink, the police arrive (and Cheryl with her bow and arrow). The gang and the king are unmasked, and it’s revealed that it’s Moose’s father and the boys from the RROTC.

In his interview with Sheriff FP, Moose’s father admits that he had been in love with Tom, who didn’t return his feelings. After some conversion therapy with the Sisters, he tried to move on. But the announcement of Tom and Sierra broke him. It was even worse seeing his son in love with Kevin, who looked just like his father (weird).

But Jughead doesn’t seem convinced that we still don’t have our real Gargoyle King, and he’s probably right.

With his mom back in the picture, things are sure to get complicated. And it officially looks like we have our newest parental enemy. Gladys Jones is revealed to be the buyer of Hermione’s drug empire. You know, the one that Veronica and Reggie set on fire?

Gladys seems willing to forgive Reggie and Veronica for showing up to the trade-off with a bag of inked currency. But it’s clear the lady is up to no good. She was, after all, preparing to buy a whole drug operation.

It was pretty refreshing getting spending more time with characters outside the core four. Betty (who has stolen the show ever since last season) was barely present. It was great to see both Kevin and Josie get plotlines they are worthy of. Both characters have been shafted by the last two season, and they could finally come back to life for the first time since season one.

Riverdale has got a lot of shit over how it handles its characters’ sexuality, but this episode really set out to set things right. And I honestly felt that this sweet, little episode did a lot to correct the mistakes of the show’s past.

Also, Pretty Poisons is the show’s lamest gang name in Riverdale yet. Good luck with that one, Toni.

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