Wicked Wednesday: Letters to Satan Claus (2020)

I’m not sure if this is universal, but choosing a movie that everyone in the family will like is an impossible task. Turns out my family have zero interest in gialli, my dad only likes things set during wartime, my sisters watch the same three movies on repeat and my mom loves wholesome holiday classics.

When I learnt that someone had combined the much-loved Hallmark Christmas movie with a paranormal slasher, it sounded right up my alley.

Letters to Satan Claus is a Dumb Movie. And it very much is aware of that.

TV news journalist Holly Frost has been a Christmas grinch ever since her parents were killed by Satan when she was a little girl. After writing a letter to Santa Claus, misspelling “Santa” as “Satan”, the entity followed little Holly’s wishes to get rid of her parents. And on Christmas morning, Holly and her sister opened up presents containing their parents’ limbs.

After not returning to her hometown in years, she’s assigned to cover the town’s annual event, Ornaments. It’s a story that could make her lead anchor at the station.

The town is full of the usual Christmas movie suspects: quirky characters, lots of Christmas decor, and lots of hot men. There’s a lot of winks and nods to the tropes we know so well but the film makes them just ever so twisted and naughty.

With Holly’s return to town, the killings start up again. An aunt gets pushed into an oven. Some frisky teens gouge their ears out with candy canes to avoid listening to an annoying Christmas song. A friend loses her eyeballs to a snowman. The usual.

Of course no one believes Holly when she says Satan is behind the mysterious disappearances. The town turns on her when she becomes the number one suspect in the killings. Holly must write a letter to Santa and learn the way to take down Satan for good before it’s too late.

As I said before, this movie is Dumb. But it’s fun. If you’re a fan of Hallmark Christmas movies, you’ll certainly get a kick out of some of the scenes. I especially loved the sick humour of everyone’s tragic backstories.

Unfortunately, this is a Syfy channel movie. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it does mean that the blood and gore and jokes can’t push as far as they should. So while it looks beautiful, many of the jokes fall flat. But for some crazy, zany Christmas fun, this is a harmless movie that’s great for a laugh.

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