Archie is finally back in Riverdale, and he has a lot of brooding to do, kids.

After (somehow) surviving his bear attack, despite being apparently dead, Archie goes back to his father’s house like a prodigal son. But Archie isn’t the same as he was before: he has dark hair, an even darker soul, and he now prefers root beer floats over milkshakes. Sounds like me after puberty.

But with Archie back, Riverdale takes a moment to breathe and reassess the insanity that has been building. For one episode, we have finally returned to the high school realness (you know, as much as Riverdale represents anything real, I guess).

And it could very-well come off as boring, but “The Stranger” actually ends up being interesting, if a bit confusing.

At Pop’s, after Archie’s giant, root beer-related confession, Betty learns that her debit card has been denied. When she returns home, she learns that Alice has drained all of her accounts to donate to the Farm, including Betty’s college fund.

And it all feel very thematic, as the kids’ SATs draws nearer. Archie, having missed most of his academic year, is advised by Principal Weatherbee to retake his junior year. And somehow, the only thing about this that Archie finds upsetting is not graduating with his friends.

So Archie begins cramming for the exam with Betty and Jughead. I don’t know how to tell these gets that you’re able to retake them, but I only just realised I never took the SATs, so what do I know anyway? Archie’s “dimness” is reworked in this episode to suggest that Archie isn’t stupid, but has a learning disability. But if this was the case, surely he would have received some help at some point? Or was Ms Gruny the only tutor in town?

But Veronica is apparently not on the “let’s get Archie to succeed” train. Instead, she throws him a Welcome Back party, which he promptly leaves when he’s reminded of Hiram.

Speaking of, with the Sisters’ of Quiet Mercy convent now open, Hiram begins to plans to buy the building, and he needs Claudius Blossom’s help. And by help, I mean forcing his wife to select Claudius as Riverdale’s new sheriff.

Jughead and his Serpents get to meet Claudius face-to-face when they try and set up Hiram. With Fangs undercover in the Gargoyle gang, they’re able to infiltrate a meeting and discover the identity of the Gargoyle King: Tall Boy.

Yes, that Tall Boy who was definitely dead and definitely was the Black Hood (the non-serial killer one). With Tall Boy’s reluctant help, they get a meeting with Hiram, but Claudius meets them instead, leading Claudius to be thrown in jail…?

While Jughead spends time with that Black Hood, Betty spends time with the real one – her father, Hal. After learning about her bank accounts, her lawyer, Sierra tells her that her father had also signed the papers. But Betty quickly notices that the signature was forged. The only way to get her money back is to have her father sign an affidavit.

She goes to see her father in prison, and old Hal tries out his best Hannibal impression. Its almost laughable how much Riverdale lifts from Silence of the Lambs, it sort of crosses the line of homage. But anyway, little Clarice Betty asks for her father’s help. Hal agrees, but only if she brings him the Gryphons & Gargoyles manual.

When she eventually gets him the manual, he claims that he was there at ascension night. And that he is the original Gargoyle King. Betty soon susses out that he’s lying. He gathered all of his details from sleeping with Penelope Blossom, who was posing as Alice.

But while this is seemingly the darkest part of a fairly “normal” episode, Riverdale lets it all spiral at the end.

Hiram is shot in a rather similar fashion to Fred. Only this time, we don’t even get a hint of the shooter’s identity. No shadow. Nothing. Now, both Fred and FP threatened him earlier in the episode. And both seem to have a good motive.

FP reveals that he is the new sheriff in town, and it’s pretty clear that it was a deal between him and Hermione. What that means, who knows. Hopefully that the two have been in cahoots all this time. I like Hermione too much for her to be a boring pawn like she’s been coming off for the last two seasons.

But Hiram isn’t the only one with someone out to get him. Claudius is found dead in his cell soon after Hiram gets out of his surgery. Is it someone’s greater plan? Hermione’s?

There’s certainly a lot of deceit going on in this little town. Veronica misses an opportunity to be open with Archie about being with Reggie. And ultimately, there’s no trust between the two anymore anyway. But with her dad in the hospital, girl seems certain it’s Archie (apparently Hiram was shot around the same time Archie fled the SATs).

Dark Archie isn’t my favourite Archie. Sweet, guitar-playing one is. Can we have that one back? Or is it as Archie thinks? There’s no going back. He certainly didn’t shoot Hiram. Boy would kill him, not do the job half-assed.

It was pretty good to see some scenes with Fred in them again. Seeing Luke Perry is always calming and lovely. More Fred, please!

Riverdale has come very far from its humble (ish) beginnings. And “Chapter Forty-Four” takes a moment to remember where it came from.

In the last few years, Archie and the gang have solved a murder, caught a serial killer and battled with a money-hungry mobster. Remember when Betty’s biggest problem in her life was that Archie didn’t have a crush on her?

Before the mid-season break, Archie made for the border to hide in Canada. He’s living his best woodsman life by staying in a cabin with Vegas. Despite being warned by the woman he communicated with via ham radio, Archie gets himself attacked by a bear.

He manages to clean himself up, but he passes out on his bed. When he awakes, he finds himself speaking to many of the dead that have crossed his paths. He goes through a slightly Christmas Carol-style journey that makes him face all the turning points in his life (the Black Hood, Hiram, and eventually his friends in their best season 1 outfits – helloooo iconic black cape!).

Archie admits that he needs to kill the stupidity in himself. We all agree. In his last scene, he takes a baseball bat to a sleeping Archie. We’re supposed to think he’s dead, but when he inevitably wakes up, hopefully he’ll start a band and this will all become a teen drama again.

Meanwhile, back in Riverdale, everything is as usual: nuts.

After the super dramatic quarantine, it’s been lifted without much fanfare. It begs the question why we were even put through that, but alas, the Riverdale writers didn’t seem to think it was important (or they wrote themselves into a corner, either one).

Veronica is busy fending off her father, who sends his gang of Gargoyles after her, Reggie and Josie. She eventually succumbs to his offer of giving him 10% for his protection, but he becomes angry when he notices that her books are altered.

He threatens her when he realises that he has been robbed by Cheryl, who has taken up burglary with Toni for fun. He tells her that she needs to retrieve the “Glamourgé Egg” back from her friends – or else.

But instead of listening, Veronica goes straight to Jughead himself. He agrees to get the egg back for her, as long as she decides to hire the Serpents as protection.

In order to get the egg back, though, Jughead has to kick Toni and Cheryl out of the gang for breaking the law against his orders. Cheryl reluctantly gives back the egg, but both girls are still out of the party.

Also out of the party is Fangs, who was dealing Fizzle Rocks to the crashing kiddies at Betty’s place.

Betty spends most of the episode being rather boring for once. The Sisters of Quiet Mercy end up in jail, awaiting their destiny. But they claim to take a vow of silence, making them unable to testify against Hiram in court.

But a little bird in the form of a social worker, tells Betty the sisters have not in fact been actual nuns for over 60 years. After Betty confronts them, someone (Hiram) posts their bail, leading to the sisters’ mass suicide by the blue Kool-aid. One hell of a bleak way to wrap up that storyline, Jim.

Betty also learns that all of the kids, which she had planned to distribute among friends, have been taken away to The Farm. If this part of the story doesn’t start to pay off soon, I’m quitting this show forever.

At first it really seemed like sending Archie off by himself was a bad move for the show. Archie’s storylines are usually the most boring. But here he’s given a bit of redemption (even if he doesn’t give it to himself).

There are some real hints that the show might go back to its roots. For one, Archie really has nowhere else to go. Plus Veronica has finally moved on to Reggie, who she clearly has a lot of chemistry with. (Real life actors Camila Mendes and Charles Melton are together, and it’s pretty damn clear.) Reggie sort of serves the same purpose as Archie did: protection and support. But Reggie is much more level-headed about it whereas Archie had only blind faith.

I would actually love to see a more focused, downscaled Riverdale again. But when you’ve gone this far, can you ever go back?

Riverdale is often a series of convenient actions. The last episode perfectly exemplified that.

So it’s slightly surprising that when wanderin’ Jughead and Archie agree to bunk at a farm it doesn’t happen to be The Farm. But it’s a creepy place nonetheless. Jughead’s guard immediately goes up, but ever-trusting Archie insists that they stay.

The two girls there insist that it’s just the two of them who live at the farm. All the men work down the river. Completely reasonable that two high-school age girls could run a farm by themselves. Anyway, Archie believes this and insists on paying back their kindness by helping with farm work the next day.

Jughead heads into town to take photographs. He sees the familiar G&G markings around town. He stops to speak to an older woman, who tells him that the drug Fizzle Rocks began being taken in town again. The symbols began to appear when the drugs did.

He later meets a group of girls taking Fizzle Rocks and playing G&G. The girls say that the men are building a prison, but are making the drugs at a lab for the Man in Black.

While he investigates, Archie falls under the spell of the older daughter Lori. Archie caves and tells him his real story, admitting that the names he and Jughead gave her originally were fake. She knocks him out with a frying pan and calls Hiram to gather his treasure.

Jughead manages to free him, but Archie wants to stay and fight? Does he think he can kill Hiram? Why does Archie think that’s a good idea? He eventually to Jughead’s (little) sense, and they decide to head off to see Mrs Jones.

Veronica, meanwhile, packs up to leave home. She decides to…move into her speakeasy? It’s like living in her worst nightmare. Her business isn’t making any money. So she decides to turn it into a casino for one night only. That means putting her trust in Elio.

Hiram stops by to warn her away from her decisions. I’m honestly so over this man. Hopefully season 3 is the end of Hiram’s scheming. He simply asks his daughter, “Are you mad at me?” and that alone is enough to make me scream.

But Hiram is right, of course. During casino night, Reggie points out to Veronica that Elio is probably cheating. She decides to play him and puts the deed to the speakeasy on the table. She wins. She later reveals that Hiram warned her before casino night. Apparently Elio wanted to fleece her because she’s an easy target. He subtle suggests that she cheat by bringing in her own dealer.

The following morning, Pop warns Veronica about the dangers of being like her father. He also tells her that Minetta’s body was found…with no head or hands.

Betty is stuck at the Sisters of Mercy still. She learns that all the girls receive “candy” every day – Fizzle Rocks. She later learns that her roommate is Ethel Muggs. Ethel tells Betty that she has been having conversations with the Gargoyle King herself.

Poor Ethel’s character has been massively destroyed (remember when she was a champion for women’s rights in season 1?).

Betty continues her investigation from within the Mercy’s walls. She sees Claudius Blossom making deliveries of something (definitely not maple syrup). But most importantly, she notices that Hiram visits the Sisters and “helps” them with whatever they may need. She then remembers that Hiram was the one who brought Fizzle Rocks to the G&G ascension night all those years ago.

Riverdale’s #1 detective realises what she needs to do in order to get to the files she needs to continue her investigation. She fakes a seizure, landing herself in the medical room. She finds her own record and reads them. She notices that Hiram is dictating drug dosage to use the girls as lab rats for his drug.

When she gets the information she needs, she attempts to escape through the exit Veronica used to save Cheryl earlier. She’s caught and forcefully given Fizzle Rocks, then its decided she needs a “good strong talk-to” from the King. After her meeting, her spirit is thoroughly broken…and worshiping the Gargoyle King.

This section is easily the most entertaining. Having Betty’s internal monologue in my new favorite thing. Betty is also easily the best part of this show. Seeing her so broken is definitely horrible, but seeing her fight a battle is always great. Well, because she always wins.

This episode was structurally similar to “Tales from the Darkside” as it is three separate stories. This works for the episode, but it certainly isn’t as remarkable (or as flashy) as “Tales” was. But I still think the technique works will. The four four are all separated, maybe not for the first time but definitely for the longest. By putting their three stories this way, it highlights just how alone they are all now.

Hiram, the Man in Black, is a looming figure throughout the episode. How can such a crook get away with so much? Why are so many people on board with supporting drug production? Is this a Riverdale thing or am I just naive?

I never thought anyone would try and combine a Steve McQueen film with Dungeons & Dragons, but I guess if anyone is going to give it a go, it’s Riverdale.

Last time we saw Archie, he was plotting his break out of juvie. Of course, being the fool he is, he decides to try and make a run for it during the day.  Unsurprisingly, he gets caught and branded by the warden. Thus sets off the catalyst for the episode’s events.

After her father alerts her of the attempted break-out, Veronica begins to orchestrate plans to break Archie out herself. She enlists “That Guy Who Owns A Casino Remember Him From Last Season?” to help her out, he agrees and smuggles her into one of the fights.

She meets with Archie in the lockerooms afterwards, and he tells her of his idea: there’s a drain in the bottom of the pool where the fights are held. And believes, despite his large shoulders, that he can slip through there and escape.

But Veronica can’t do it alone (even with that one-dude’s help), so she goes to Betty.

Betty has been doing her own work, of course. But she’s trying to get to the bottom of the G&G business. She’s convinced that one of the parents had something to do with Principal Featherhead’s death. She sends Kevin, Josie and Reggie off to casually interrogate their parents. That, unsurprisingly, ends up at a dead end.

Jughead, on the other hand, believes that the death was caused by the Games Master, whoever that was. Even more, the more he plays the game, the more certain that G&G exists only in Riverdale (thankfully Betty here acknowledges how weird this is, but it’s Riverdale so there are no rules). The game appears to be a reflection on the city itself. That gives me Blossom/Cooper flashbacks… Anyway, He continues on his own campaign, not joining in on helping break out Archie.

I want to be Team Betty on this one. Mostly because I want the killer to be Hiram. That way he can get thrown in jail, and that meandering (aka dying) plotline about him taking over Riverdale can just die.

But it appears that Jughead might actually be right on this one.

During Archie’s “last meal”, the warden tells Archie that he doesn’t answer to Hiram, but rather his “soul belongs to no mere mortal”. He also gives Archie a very big hint: the guys who testified against him could be hiding out near the mines.

Before the fight, Joaquin stabs Archie in the locker room, saying he was promised ascension. The boy escapes juvie, leaving Archie alone to fight (surprise) the original Big Dog.

Veronica and Reggie arrive as guests, and Josie works the room as a waitress. As the fight begins, they throw smoke cannisters (disguised as sodas) into the pool, giving Archie is way of escape. But with his injury, he needs a little help and gets it from Big Dog, who fights off the guards.

The friends manage to get Archie out safely, thanks to a trick pulled off by Kevin and Betty. Veronica and the others smuggle Archie into Dilton’s bunker, where he’s to stay…forever? Not sure the kids really figured this one out.

But the notice something strange – the brand on Archie’s torso. It’s in the shape of one of those unusual G&G symbols. And that, kids, puts the nail in the coffin.

But with the news getting out about the underground fight club, Hermione goes into damage control mode. She goes to see the prison warden, but she won’t get a chance to talk to him.

The warden failed in his quest to kill the Red Paladin. And so, he drinks from the chalice and kills himself with cyanide poisoning.

It’s pretty rare that the Riverdale subplots combine so closely. I mean, I didn’t exactly see that plot twist coming. To be fair, the first three episodes of season three really try and drive home that the warden is in Hiram’s pocket.

This will be the first time that the kids are all on the same page. Figuring out what to do about Archie will only help them figure out what is the truth behind the Gargoyle King.

I know that Riverdale has been feeding us supernatural vibes with the G&G plot, but I think the most unbelievable thing about this show has been the prison story. Thankfully that’s (mostly) wrapped up. Let’s just get to that mountain! Or mine. Whatever. I just need there to be an excuse for this show to make an Edvard Grieg reference.

Riverdale is the ultimate teen show when it comes to taking risks with style. There was the (obligatory) musical episode, and I’m still not over last season’s anthology-style episode, “Chapter Twenty: Tales from the Darkside”.

So choosing to do a flashback episode isn’t that surprising, really. Each of the parents in Riverdale seem to have been cast solely based on how hot they were as teenagers. I’m looking at you, Luke Perry.

At the end of the last episode, every student at Riverdale High received their own copy of the Gryphons & Gargoyles manual. Since the game is pretty suicide-friendly, Mayor Hermione Lodge cracks down and bans the game from being played. But as everyone knows, banning something just makes it all that more enticing.

Betty gets a file from her mortician friend about a similar death to Dilton’s from back in the 90s – both corpses had blue lips. Knowing that her mother has admitted to playing the game before, Betty confronts Alice. But Alice surprises her daughter by agreeing to tell her everything she knows.

Back in the 90s (which is essentially the 80s here for Riverdale‘s sake), Alice was her Serpent-jacket wearing self. Not the crazy journalist we all love or even the bohemian version she is now. In fact, she begins her story at the moment she discovers she’s pregnant with FP’s child.

When Penelope Blossom gets on Alice’s case about it, the girls being fighting. They both get Saturday detention, along with Hermione and Sierra who were trying to break up the fight. FP and Fred also get detention for streaking.

Their principal (Anthony Michael Hall) gives them their writing assignment and leaves them to it for the day. The group somehow manage to get themselves another detention when a fight breaks out again.

Over the span of their detentions, the kids become reluctant friends. It’s not until they discover a box of Gryphons & Gargoyles in their teacher’s drawer of confiscated items that they really begin to bond.

Their obsession with the game grows. They begin to sneak into school to play, eventually taking the game “off board” to play in real life. Like 90s larping, I guess. And with that, they form the Midnight Club (which I really hope is a reference to the Midnight Society and the Breakfast Club).

They gang bump into another group of G&G-ers (including little Sheriff Keller, Reggie’s dad, Hiram and Dilton’s father), and they all decide to play together.

One day, they each receive an invitation for a “ascension party”. The whole group assembles to play. Before they start, they partake in a little recreational drug use in the form of something called Fizzle Rocks (jingle jangles predecessor, I assume). Alice, being pregnant, only pretends to take the drug.

While the rest of the group gets rowdy, Alice’s head begins to spin. She throws up in the bathroom and discovers the chalices when she leaves her stall. But she doesn’t flip the coin to discover her fate. She instead heads back into the hall, where she comes face-to-face with the Gargoyle King.

Strangely, this only kind of weirds Alice out. She turns around, but nearly bumps into Principal Featherhead. She hides from him, knowing he’s looking for the kids. After she sees him leave, she duck out and goes home for the night.

The following day, Alice learns that Principal Featherhead didn’t arrive at school that day. She also learns that Fred’s father died alone when Fred was out larping on drugs.

Featherhead’s body is eventually found in the school, decomposed days after his disappearance. His lips are blue.

Alice begs the other Midnight Club members to go to the police about what they know. But they instead decide to destroy the evidence that they had anything to do with the game. And that is seemingly that.

In the present day, Betty doesn’t get much more out of her mother. Alice does tell her that that night changed who they all were, their guilt making them the adults that we see today.

Betty continues her investigation, spurred by Alice’s story. She discovers the chalices in the trophy cupboard. But when she goes to find Jughead in Dilton’s bunker, she finds him with several other Serpents, getting prepared to play G&G.

Somehow, this must have been a really long story, Jughead is already obsessed with the game, bragging about his ascension. Cole Sprouse does a fantastic job of playing crazy. I guess this is a welcome return to nerdy Jughead?

It was certainly an interesting episode. Having the actors of the children play the young version of their parents was interesting. It blurred the lines of the characters a bit, allowing for the adult’s slightly-off behaviour to feel more real. You can buy a relaxed Fred Andrews when KJ Apa is playing him.

We also got some insight to why these adults are they way they are. Penelope Blossom had one of the more interesting arcs. During the first detention, she admits that she’s not a real Blossom. She was adopted so she could basically be groomed to be Cliff’s future wife. The death of Featherhead basically pushes her into allowing herself to be their pawn. Riverdale has made me feel sorry for a character that definitely doesn’t deserve sympathy on most days.

Notably absent was a young Mary Andrews, which feels like a missed opportunity. We know that she was bullied by the other girls in school. Plus hello, Molly Ringwald. I can only guess it’s because the writers wanted us to feel weird about the parents’ relationships as adults (I really don’t know if I would feel normal making out with my mom’s first boyfriend’s son – but that’s just me).

Riverdale really pulled this one off. A gamble that wasn’t just indulgent, but actually added something to the story. It certainly made me care about the characters more, which is really all you can ask in season 3.

Real question. If there’s a Gargoyle King in this Gryphons & Gargoyles – is there an opposite Gryphons? Is this what’s on the coin? That’s what I get for assuming everything has been played with a quarter.

The first three episodes of Riverdale have gone so well, I feel like checking over my shoulder to look for the ghoul that is certain to come and ruin it.

“Chapter Thirty-Eight” sees the core four building up much of their stories individually, which is sort of a nice change. Betty and Jughead split up their tag-team, Veronica busies herself with the opening of her new speakeasy, and Archie has ‘fun’ in solitary confinement!

Archie, poor kid, continues his life in prison as the warden’s new target. The boy is cut off from his father and any other visitors, seemingly for the foreseeable future. And he soon finds out exactly why. He’s entered into a series of bare-knuckled fist fights, of which the prison wardens and guards bet on fights like the boys are dogs.

Archie soon learns how to take care of himself, but quickly realises that punching people and being punched isn’t a sustainable hobby. When he discovers a pick inside one of Mad Dog’s books (The Count of Monte Cristo, no less), Archie becomes inspired to break out of prison. I’m not sure whether anyone wants to tell him that’s probably not a super idea considering he couldn’t just walk as a free boy.

Meanwhile, outside of the prison, Veronica opens up her speakeasy. Unsurprisingly, her father’s meddling begins before the doors even open. He enlists the help of Penny Peabody and her Ghoulies to stir up trouble. They send her boxes of Jingle Jangle after she refuses to hire the Ghoulies as bodyguards.

In retaliation, Veronica, Toni and Cheryl go to the Ghoulies’ Jingle Jangle lab and take photos as evidence to use against Hiram. This seemingly works, as the Ghoulies back off. But after the opening, Veronica realises that her father has already moved the lab, making all of Veronica’s ‘evidence’ worthless.

But clearly, the best plontline here is the mystery of the season (as it always is). Betty and Jughead continue their investigation into the Farm and Griffins & Gargoyles. Betty (very loosely) puts the Farm and the game together, believing that they are connected by a leader. Why she thinks this is a bit vague. Only that the two timelines seem to match up. A bit of anger just might be getting in the way of Nancy Drew’s thinking here.

When Jughead and Betty find Ethel has returned to school after her seizure, they go to speak with her. She admits that she’s taking medication for them since she’s been having them frequently. She also tells them that Evelyn (daughter of cult leader Edgar) has been helping her.

Jughead then volunteers to join the game, and Ethel admits that he is worthy enough. When Ethel tells Betty she’s definitely not G&G material, Betty decides to join the Farm’s school branch instead.

When Betty arrives at Evelyn’s meeting, she finds that no one else is there. Evelyn explains that it’s because the rest of the school hasn’t caught on yet. But instead of being creepy like in the last episode, Evelyn is much more sympathetic. She’s more of a likable loser than anything. Could it just be another ploy? Maybe. But it looks like Betty’s mind is running away from her a little too much.

But Betty’s meddling gets her into more trouble. When she arrives at home, she finds that actual Farm members are waiting for her. She learns at the meeting that her mother has spilt a few too many secrets – including the one about the hidden body. During the meeting, Betty begins to feel faint again, as if she’s on the verge of yet another seizure.

Meanwhile, Jughead plays his first game of G&G with Princess Ethel. He successfully drinks from one of the chalices and survives. In exchange for proving his worth, Ethel gives him “the scripture”, which is essentially the game guide (I assume). But before Jughead can delve into things more, Ethel drinks from the other, poisoned chalice.

Ethel ends up surviving her suicide attempt, which is both nice and horrible. The poor girl has been through a lot in three seasons, including her own father’s suicide attempt.

When FP and Alice discover that Jughead has dabbled in G&G, they begin to lecture their children. FP finds and burns the game manual, which Jughead believed to be the only copy.

Though when Jughead arrives at school the next day, he discovers that all of the students at Riverdale High have copies in their lockers. It’s confirmed, not to him, that it was Ethel’s doing. Anything to please her King.

So does this mean anything? In the real world, probably not. G&G is essentially the equivalent to a twisted D&D. If they’re not already playing it, it probably won’t be of any interest to real kids. But this is Riverdale, so await a whole slew of G&G-ers soon!

This episode really drove in the notion that FP and Alice were involved in something as kids. Their reactions over any mention of the game is pretty over-the-top. If you want anyone to listen, try subtlety.

Next week’s “Chapter Thirty-Nine” will (hopefully) fill in the blanks with the anticipated flashback episode. I’m here for it.

After a decent first episode, “Chapter Thirty-Seven” begins to build up the typical building blocks of every season: Archie tries and fails, Betty and Jughead investigate a mystery, Veronica stirs up trouble with her parents. But more than ever, the show is blurring the lines of reality and the impossible.

Much of the episode establishes Archie’s new life in prison. His roommate, Mad Dog, does his best to keep his distance, but dishes out wise advice that we all know Archie is going to ignore anyway.

In juvie, Archie begins to navigate the world of the Serpents and Ghoulies once more (who are much more like gangs inside prison that they are outside). He manages to keep his heart of gold, though, but ignoring the Serpents’ challenge to go after a Ghoulie. He settles things with everyone inside the prison by suggesting a game of football.

Archie has always had some of the weakest plot lines. Each season, he’s manipulated by a different adult, and it appears that this time it’s the ‘prison warden’. Of course the warden is in Hiram Lodge’s pocket, because otherwise Veronica wouldn’t have a plotline.

She spends most of her life now trying to make sure Archie feels comfortable in his prison life. Apparently, the girl doesn’t have a life outside anything that doesn’t revolve around her boyfriend. It’s the main source of tension with her father, and it’s all getting a bit old at this point.

Veronica hosts a little cheerleading performance (including a very horrible, but cheesily fun cover of “Jailhouse Rock”), but a “prison riot” happens, causing Archie and the other boys to be beat up during their football game.

Afterwards, Archie learns that he is being blamed for it. He’s also told that Mad Dog was killed during the riot, despite not being at the game himself. The guard then tells Archie that he has been “tapped”, just like Mad Dog warned him about. But this tap makes him the new Mad Dog, whatever that means. But I have a strong feeling that it will be just as ‘exciting’ as Archie working for the mafia.

Jughead and Betty, as always, continue their Frank Hardy and Nancy Drew double act. Following the death of Dilton Doiley, the pair begin to investigate him and Ben, who unlike his dead friend, ended up in ICU.

Then the couple go to see Ben, the find a talisman and learn that it was left there by Ethel. When they speak to Ethel, she claims that Ben is her boyfriend and that the talisman was left to protect him. She agrees to take them to Dilton’s bunker where they played their “game”. But when they try to meet her at night, they bump into a masked figure of the Gargoyle King instead.

So Betty and Jughead return by themselves the following night, finding not just the game board, but a missing scout member. He explains that he had been waiting for Dilton’s return. But he also spills a lot of true details about Dilton, Ben and Ethel’s game, which turns out to be mostly a completely-explainable fantasy, mostly squashing the idea of anything really supernatural occurring here. Though when Ethel has a similar seizure to Betty, it begins to raise more questions than answer them.

Betty also meets the daughter of everyone’s favourite cult leader, Gracie Johanssen Evelyn Evernever. Evelyn spends much of her time seemingly stalking Betty after her apparent seizure. She seems to know a lot about Betty. More than what Betty knows about her, which is a nice change of pace for Riverdale’s sharpest mind.

Many of the side characters here continue to be pointless. Kevin, Josie… well, mostly just those two. What purpose do they serve? Even Ethel has become more of a break out star over both of them, and she doesn’t even sing. Really, maybe it’s just time to let them go. Have them as background characters, focusing more on the main stories, which seems to always have such brief scenes.

But while the children are running around creating mischief, their parents are all gathered by Hermione, who tells them that the secret that they “buried years ago” seems to be coming back to haunt them. And whatever “it” is seems to be targeting their children.

I love how this show just seemingly creates relationships between the parents that we’ve already been told didn’t exist in previous episodes. But Riverdale wants to have a flashback episode, so I’m here for the Losers Club vibe.

Two episodes in, though, and this show seems to be heading in a better direction writing-wise. It certainly is trying to set us up for quite the season, I think.

Coming around the final bend of its second season, Riverdale is being endlessly relentless in one of its most tightly written episodes yet. Each component of the storyline seemed to have weight and meaning (minus the Archie/Veronica sex scene. These two make as much sense as comic Archie and Veronica do: not at all). And if these past few episodes have anything to say about what we’re in for in the last two seasons:

We’re in for a very, very insane ride here, kids.

After her stunt with Nick St Clair (you know, in which she turned the tables and held him for ransom), Veronica is being “courted”. The other families of the mob are interested in doing business with the Lodges. So they send their sons to Veronica with business ideas to pitch to her. And because she’s a boss, Veronica is absolutely glowing with the idea of a challenge.

She goes through the boys pitches pretty quickly. But one, a casino, catches her ear. She agrees to move forward, intending to use the ransom money to fund her business venture.

But Veronica’s business idea is quickly shot down by her father. Claiming that the family of the boy is, in fact, super shady Hiram tells her that there’s no way to have a cleanly-run casino. And the Lodges don’t shady business anymore! Of course! But Veronica becomes even more determined, seeking out Former-Mayor McCoy’s legal advice on how to do things legally.

In the week leading up to the debate, Archie is going door-to-door supposedly campaigning for this father. But in fact is looking in everyone’s eyes to find the Black Hood.

Hiram suggests that Archie reform his Dark Circle gang. That way, the gang can work with the new sheriff. One that knows Hiram Lodge pretty well. Unsurprisingly, though, it’s all part of Hiram’s plan to create unrest in Riverdale. He’s such a cartoon villain, that I feel almost certain that he’s going to get his comeuppance before the season is through.

Things begin to get more tense in Riverdale when Moose admits that Midge was fooling around with a Serpent on the side (ironic that this matters considering Moose’s consistent fooling around with other men). Reggie decides to become Extra-Reggie and fully takes on the responsibility for taking down the Serpent that killed Midge.

See the giant leap in logic here? I mean, Reggie is a stupid jerk but certainly he’s not that stupid, right?

Fangs admits to Jughead that he was the one hooking up with Midge. He didn’t go to Sheriff Keller because he thought he’d look guilty. Only now that he didn’t admit it, he looks even more guilty. On Jughead’s footage of the night of the show, Fangs can be seen in the dressing room “giving notes” to Midge in her dressing room. That footage, of course, is still at the sheriff’s office.

Archie and Jughead go to meet the new sheriff together and get back the footage. Unsurprisingly, the new sheriff doesn’t hand it back. But instead decides to watch it for himself.

The footage of Fangs is leaked. Later in the night, the Dark Circle arrive at the Serpent hangout, the Whyte Worm. They set a dumpster on fire and slash the tires of the Serpents motorcycles. Reggie tells Archie that Hiram is paying the Dark Circle to do his work.

Thankfully Former-Mayor McCoy sweeps in to represent Fangs. She tells Jughead that without evidence enough to charge Fangs, he can be released with in 24-hours. But while those hours tick away, the people of Riverdale become more and more certain that Fangs has to be the killer (despite the fact that all he did was canoodle. Again, how does this make someone guilty in the sane mine of ANYONE??).

Betty, meanwhile, is suspicious that her father might be the Black Hood (me too). So she goes to Cheryl for advice. Cheryl suggests going to the police, but Betty is convinced that she needs to confront him herself. So they both agree to investigate for hard evidence.

The youngest Cooper finds her way in by offering to work at the register with her parents in the lead-up to the debate. She finds her dad’s planner and cross-references every Black Hood attack with his schedule. All of the dates match up.

While in the Register‘s offices she receives a call from the coroner that a corpse showed up. Betty is certain that it is Chic, and admits what she did to Cheryl. But the boy is not Chic. But the guilt cripples her anyway.

That night, Betty admits to her parents that she had been in contact with the Black Hood, and that she had ‘delivered’ Chic to the Black Hood. Hal admits to Betty that he too has “the darkness” inside. Then he says, “that’s why we need each other.” Making him look all the more crazy.

Cheryl and Betty break into the B&B room that Hal was renting. Cheryl finds The Nancy Drew Secret-Code Activity Book among his things. The same book that the Black Hood used to write a cipher for Betty. When she confronts Hal about the book, though, he claims that it was a birthday present he was saving for Betty.

At the debate, Hermione reveals that the Dark Circle was started by Archie. Once the group that aimed to keep Riverdale safe, the gaggle of boys are dark and sinister. But before anything can come of it, Veronica spots the Black Hood in the loft. He takes his gun and begins open firing on the crowd, mostly aiming at Fred Andrews. This all happened despite the new sheriff’s insistence that the security would be tighter due to the threatening note that Fred received.

But importantly, Betty seeks out her parents during the shooting and finds her dad in the crowd, making him seemingly innocent. But Betty still seems determined that her father is the one orchestrating things.

Veronica becomes irate when she sees how upset that her mother is after the shooting. Veronica tells Hermione to step-down but Hiram refuses to allow her to do so. She switches sides and goes to the Andrews household to pledge her allegiance to Fred’s campaign.

The more harrowing thing of this week’s episode, though, is not anything to do with a serial killer. When Fangs’ release finally arrives, a mob awaits outside the jail. The mob go after him, but he’s protected by his follow Serpents. While in the crowd, Archie sees Reggie walking towards the Serpents with something glinting in his hands,

Archie dives to stop Reggie but the gun still goes off – striking Fangs in the stomach.

It’s a very well-shot scene and despite the fact that Fangs is pretty much a throw-away character, it’s pretty hard to watch. The shooting pretty much spells the end of days for peace Riverdale, though. Their judgment of a boy not on trial is awful. It almost makes you think that the Black Hood has the right idea.

But the episode doesn’t rest on Fangs. While Betty awaits her father in “the place where it all started.” Cheryl gets a visitor at her home – a man with green eyes in a black hood.